Sunday, 21 October 2007

Two Soups

Tired of being healthy? Want to bring on some diarrhea? Try this recipe:

Big-ass bunch of 'sparagus
Boil it.............salt
....wash it first....need to tell ya?
Always do that...wash em first....
and after.
Don't want a load of dirty vegetables around.

Take off the rubber bands and keep em for something crafty
Put them in the drawer...
Use them as a hair tie if yo bored.
Not bored--- hair too short...?
Get all your bills and tie them up in a purple rubber band.
Put them under your pillow and bring on the tooth fairy.
Ain't got no bills--?
Whatchya doin' with your time? Go out and buy somethin'.
Do a dance for the tooth fairy....
Tooth fairy comes---she busy--she late
Just gonna laugh in your face
I only do teeth--she says.
But it's worth a try.
May get her to pay the water bill
You use water to brush your teeth.
She only pay half?
Change your postcode.

This recipe I was tellin' you about--
Better if you eat it on a Friday or Saturday
Because--ya'll are gonna have to be
Constricting your movements ---
Between the tv and the toilet.

And there will be a lot of movements--trust me.
So many--ya'll would be wise not to flush every time.
Wait til it's just so....kinda soupy.
Get a ladle--that be the one you serve
To the very special people on your guest list--
Need I say? The ones you don't like but invite anyway..
Just like the relatives ya'll be trippin' over every Christmas.
Can always refrigerate some for them.
Add some spices to it--may be a little bland.
In fact--you should really curry it up.

Now the asparagus is ready--
Take it out and mash it up a little.
Throw in some butter and the left over juice.
Now you got a soup--It plain, but it good.
Bored with that? Throw in some greek yogurt.
Still bored--put some ketchup to it.

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