Thursday, 11 October 2007

International Dial

Some friends of mine, they live so far away
They barely can hear what I'm tryin' to say.
Don't speak the same language--Swahili, Chinese...
The mental exhaustion can bring a brain freeze.

I'm eatin' my lunch but it's mornin' for you.
It's midnight for me, and your dinner is due.
Press forty-five numbers before the phone rings.
Lose count at thirty--start over again.

There should be a school---International Dial
Teaches how to connect over too many miles.
Set you up right with your own country codes
And show where to put all the double zeros.

I remember ago when they had operators,
Just press the "Oh", she'd be there minute later.
But she went to lunch and she didn't come back.
Now it's an auto-press-this-and-press-that.

Press "one" if you think that you're going to speak
To one of us here by the end of the week.
Do you really think we'll pick up the phone?
Noon, we already home.

Press "two" if you have even more time to waste.
We're charging for this, so there's no haste.
I'm a machine--no voice-no face.
We'll put on some music-- the very best taste.
This tune is hip-hop set in a waltz beat.
We like it, and we hope , you find it sweet.

As the Swittish phone system's a bit overpriced,
I guess, 'fore we chattin', I'll have to think twice.
Writin' down what to say in advance 'cause it's live.
Talkin' eighty five miles....not thirty-five.

So you won't be hearin' the liltin' sensations
Of my lovely voice which is in hibernation
Unless there's a skype or a phone card nearby
Where more amicable charges apply.

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