Compact Ferrari ( Version II in rhyme)

Some folk that existin' are far too special
Got gingerbread asses like Hansel and Gretel
Put foot on the tarmac just drivin' a Ford?
No. Not a Toyota--Lord. Life is too short.

They tool down the highway in yellow Mercedes.
Pickin' up dates with them long legged ladies.
Got flowers out back instead of plain grass...
Find The Green Giant beans or generics too crass.

Ya'll never catch them--yellow/black lettered tin.
Though beans are just beans---read the label-- pass wind.
Fart-free Fancy Beans.... Eighty dollars a dose.
Prices like that---I think I'll stick to toast.
Fart? Who can afford to? no one--not most.

Toast-eatin' country boy up in the hills.
No beans for him--it's beaver he kills.
Little more lively than country folk go.
Happy with dogs and cats? Hell no.

Legal or not, his preferred pet's a ferret.
Furriest thing, but I never would wear it.
A Ferret? Ain't that like a compact Ferrari?
Or something you see on a game of Atari?

Bigger than hamsters--smaller than rabbits
As wired as mice backing up Lenny Kravitz.
More nervous than-- a chinchilla on crack.
Said the man at the pet store won't take him back.

The thang is so stanky....I know a tailor
Couldn't hold his nose and sew--end up a failure.
He couldn't put his needle to it.
Twitched his nose so much he blew it.
Don't need a coat from a piece of that fluff
A present for a "friend" of mine, just the touch.

He call it "Yeti" like some big hairy bear
Whose lost his way home and got everyone scared.
How can something so little have such a big name?
I'll tell ya before you have time to complain.
They've something in common if size is the word.
"Little Yeti"? The stench of him takes up the world.

Country boy one day needs his pet lookin' after.
Me, I respond with the appropriate laughter.
Been needin' some time just to rest and relax.
Well---I don't see "pet-sitter" written on my ass.

Do I wanna look after his pet? Got to go.
Did I say I would? Yes. Do I know why? No.
Course I know why....If he gone for two weeks.
It'll have time to die....I'll stifle the shrieks.

Country boy comes home-- whistlin' a tune,
Puts down his fishin' rod happy as the moon...
How's little Yeti there?....lookin' kind of thin...
Didn't eat for two weeks, but he's still in.

Let him out the cage to let him run around.
He took off runnin' when he hit the ground.
Took him for a walk--didn't mind the cars.
Come back a little bloody--few odd scars.

He hasn't touched his food
But then his food wasn't there
Was I supposed to cook it?
Ferret Food: To prepare.

Come to animals--said my fingers wasn't green.
Need a manual to operate a petting machine.
This Yeti is so hardy--two weeks without food,
In the future, I'll find something else to exclude.

If you're thinkin' on another extended fishin' trip,
Allow me... to give you... one last little tip.
Next time you close the door to cast your net.
Some friendly advice regardin' your pet...

If you want him still alive, there is the Ferret Motel.
Otherwise, "Little Yeti" may go down for a spell.
Prefer the finer things? A vacation....Hell.
No maps there---may go missin'....I'll never tell.