Free French Lunch

We got something to curb your cravin's
If you find out one day your flab's misbehavin'
Swallow our pills and we'll make it all better.
And no, you don't need a doctor's letter.

Ikea gift voucher--no cost now.
But later? You'll be payin' ---and how.
We got a couch that won't fit through your door.
It ain't a problem--just take out the saw.

Toyota says, "You are the winner!"
What did they get me? A rusty old dinner?
No A brand new car from Mr. Eric Clay.
Address and bank details by the way.

Darren's joined Pocado. You will like him.
He enjoys history, music, and writin'
But he's 35 and I'm 41.
He lives too far---No. He's done.

Voucher promotions-Fly American Free.
Hotel ain't included-so nowhere to sleep.
It still a vacation...just won't be so frilly.
I'd rather stay home. I ain't that silly.
Vote now for your destination of choice?
I ain't got the time to tax my voice.

You--Can't wait til your next pay check?
We're called Ceaseles Service. We'll put you in debt.
Spoil your children with our payday loan.
And when you can't pay it, don't pick up the phone.

Fashion Department--Free French Lunch.
Pea with a lime on the side--got a hunch.
Bunch of hopscotch in heat-- Win a thing?
No cruises, or lunches, or diamond rings.

No I won a chance to re-enter once more.
In case I got nothing to do and I'm poor.
One time I really did think that I'd won.
I stayed up all night and got up with the sun.

I penciled a list of my very best friends.
Thinkin' real big of the presents I'd send.
She won't have to share a room with her daughter.
Even a tip for the garbage porter.

No need to count coins from the teddy bear jar.
I was thinkin' I'd even take up the guitar.
Spend out on luxurious toilet paper.
Instead of the roll of anonymous chafer.

We'll get a home with sky-lighted ceilings.
Wow..what that ticket did to my feelins'
But the man who answered the number I dialed.
What a terrible voice--so tarred and defiled.

So many scams--couldn't keep with the pace.
He thought I'd called in for the pencil case.
I got one of those son--please--save your stamp.
Would da been happy with a livin' room lamp.