(Don't) Try This

What is it about
Innocent children's programmes:

Don't look. Little Cook is making a picture by running his spoon through a pile of sugar. How very creative. Enhance your child's tactile and motor skills.

Later. A quiet in the kitchen. A bag of sugar on the tiles and several miniature trucks depositing the load in various hard-to reach corners. The scene is a salt mine. All mine--to clean it up as Ben is still busy....

Hmm. Today, I think I'll undo the piggy bank and put the coins in the toaster.
I'll unravel all the toilet paper and make a soft pile to jump in.
Let's just use the hoover attachment as a spear and throw it off the balcony.
Or unsrew the toothpaste and use it a facial mask. Boo!
Maybe I'll just invite my mother to come and see my poo.
Maybe I will get a chair and beat the living room lampshade to death. Where's the candy? I thought it was a pinata.