The Truth on Ruth

Ruth came over my crib today for some fine grub.
So fine...almost like Christmas.
Sunday lunch.
More like a last supper...way it went.

Big dinner n' all
Roast lamb...all the trimmins'
Did she bring any beer to go with it? No.

Ruth-she the one
Gave me them white cotton panties
Five pack. Five for a dollar.
Should have smelled the trouble then
When I slit up the plastic.
What you gonna say?
"Oh thank you. I always wanted the cheapest pair o underwear
Money can buy."
That ain't no present.
That a survival package honey.
Would have given 'em back today.
But I already throwed 'em away.
Miles ago now.

We got into a dispute.
She ain't one to apologize.
Just a little thang.
Can't stand someone lower than myself
Lookin' down on me.
Logistically impossible.

Hell. She can't even ride a bike.
She be questionin' where I gets my money from
For all my holidays.
Honey.... I is resourceful.
I don't sit in the bleedin' shade if I want some sun.
She forget...I invited her.
No she gotta stay home and tend her roses.
....Protect her apartment from her neighbors
Is more like it....They at war.

N' she strange thinkin' too.
What she did to her upstairs neighbors?
She were out in the yard
Clippin' them rose bushes like she always do...
Came upon a "vine"
"Clip"...cut up the neighbor's tv cable.
Don't be messin' with someone's tv cable.
Now that sacred.
That the umbillical chord to the world.

'Nother time...
She got these long hedge clippers...
Reached up and clipped away again
...At their patio furniture through the iron grates.
Wicker, so easy to break. Snapped like straw.
Hard to say that were an accident.
She went to court for that.
And she lost.
And now....I lost her too.
Next time...take some gardenin' lessons.

(Spoken Time 1:58)