Superhero Cemetery

I got a friend.
She got a child.
He ain't no child really.
He a devil boy.
He keep her so busy, she forgot her own name.
Folks just call her Benjamin's Mama.
And if he does somethin' wrong,
(Bitin', hittin' o strangulation)
Her name changes...to the long version
"That Benjamin Boy's Mama.... Over There."

He in the middle now of learnin' how to take a shit.
Takin' his time with it.....puttin' it everywhere.
....living room, balcony....even on the kitchen chair.
That boy.... think the whole world his toilet.
They at flood level now with all the pee.
Call in the National Guard.
Lift 'em out by helicopter.

Five pair o pants a day.
She got her washin' machine on 24/7.
She washin' so much, police came 'round the other day
See if she weren't runnin' a business.
"No," she say..."I just clean."
She been clean a long time.
She clever.
She fixed a little plaid strap to his potty--
So stylish---bless her...
Takin' it round like a little purse.
Enough to make Prada Man jealous.

He likes to brush his teeth though.
He brush his teeth five times a day.
Till the gums are bleedin.
He only wanna see the water runnin'.
See if he can fill up the sink and overflow it
before his momma come in.
He got a free sack of toothpaste and a brush
Other day for being a good boy.
Special moment.
What he do?
He took the toothpaste out of his mama's bag on the way home.
Smeared it all over his face and hands.
She thought it were it fresh paint at first.
He got a scrubbin' for that.

An' he particular on top of it.
He don't want his weetabix if his mama press it down
And it break in half--no....same with the toast.
He gotta drink his juice out of his Spiderman cup only.
Otherwise, he die of thirst.
Nothin' else will do.
He into action men and super heroes.
But all his super heroes done lost their super.

Only thing left of Spiderman is his left shin bone.
Batman's cape done flew off the balcony.
Superman's got no arms and no legs-- just a torso
He paraplegic now.
And Wonder Woman?
She a two minute wonder.

Momma say,"All these superheroes startin' to cost,
I say we's switchin' to generic action man."
Even that--same thing again.
Crushed his hands in the doorway.
All that's left is a
Superhero Cemetery.
Ain't what it say on the box.

(Spoken Time 2:06)