Kevin The Fisting King

I know this one Kevin guy....
Used to know him real well.
Ya'll gotta watch out for Kevins.
For that matter... anything or anyone
Beginning with a K.

He say he an electrical engineer.
Fancy words.....mean---he don't do a thing.
He just tell other people what to do.
Infact, he don't even tell them---he just draw 'em a map.
"Drill here...I'll be drill'in over there."

But he handy --- he all hands.
He even reconfigured a personal device
For a friend of mine.
She were usin' too many batteries.
Now, she only have to plug it in the wall.
Saved her a lot of dimes and aggravation.

Except she don't have a socket in the bedroom.
So he gonna fix her one soon.
Meanwhile, she unplugged the toaster...
Extension chord is runnin' from the kitchen to the bedroom.
Hell. If she ain't trippin' over it, she skippin' rope.

Me and Kev was out the other evenin'
Along with a third party I was tryin' to impress...
He ask him...
"So Kevin...What's yo specialty?"
Kevin don't even blink.
He say, "Fisting."
Now there's a lot of hobbies
I can think of first--especially in mixed company:
Fishin', aroma therapy, gardenin......E.S.P.
Poor man's so plain talkin'...He had to be honest.

But he creative too-
He even made up a song.

"I'm Kevin the Fisting King....
Kevin the Fisting King....
It would take me half as long
If I took off all my rings."

Yeah. He got a thing with jewelry.
He don't throw away his wedding rings
When he gets divorced. Gotta have a momento.
A keepsake...a souvenir.... as if he don't have enough
In the way of children.
No. He keep 'em all---he got a ring on every finger.
Use it like a knuckle duster
To fight off all these women wanting him so badly....
Or maybe they just into his specialized travelin' side show....
Then again,
He also got to fight off the men whose women
He didn't manage to fight off.