College Folk

Double Door Norma is a real Live person (Unless she dead now) who I met one cold winter night in Chicago's Double Door Liqour Bar Saloon some years ago. Wicker Park way before it was trendy or even safe to live there. At that time, The Double Door was a seedy establishment with a honky-tonk feel catering to dames in distress such as Norma: on the laminate wood walls, an illuminated Coors Beer clock dripped out the time with a faux moving waterfall. And across the smoky room, in another time zone, an Elvis clock with eyes moving left and right to denote the passing of seconds counts down the hours til closing time. Double Door Norma came up to us and asked:

You's ain't regulars here is ya?
No. (answering for us.)
You's is college folk.
I can always tell them college folk a mile away
Always dressed in raggy clothing with asses comin out the sides
but infact
you just came from a cocktail party eatin food of beds of lettuce.
How come they can't give you a paper plate?
Ain't got the money for it?
Or the manners?
Finger food my ass.
Hell I ain't no cave woman.
How do I know?
Cuz my cousin
Her next door neighbour's sister went to college
She came home talking some kind of foreign language.
Ya'll wanna go to the bathroom?
"Excuse me while I use the lavatory."
Honey, if you catch me usin the "lavatory",
I'd be done pissed myself by the time I got there.
Ain't no use in usin big words when you got little ones
to do the same thing.
I don't waste no time with my words.