Thursday, 27 September 2007

Costco Queen

Our neighborhood got some class though...
It ain't all chicken shacks and dollar stores.
There's talk we even goin' get a Costco.
All them big booty ladies and they jellified husbands
Pullin' up in their gleamin'
So Unbelievable Voluminous
If ya'll can't remember the letters,
Just call them People Carriers.
Spose to fit 8 to 10 people--
But by the time they's done at Costco,
They can't fit a one.

They get in the store.
Go truckin' around in motorized shopping carts..
They can't walk no more--
They stuffed themselves so full of
Discount Cream puffs....
Bursting out of size 5x panties...

Can you imagine those skinny little women in Taiwan...
Sewing up them 5x underpants fo' 10 cents an hour?
That must be a hoot.
I bet they hold 'em up when they's done sewin'
Have a good ole howl in Chinese...
They can put their whole family in there.
Probably take a pair home an' use it like a bed sheet.

An' if you hungry, ya'll can use it like a restaurant.
Just go round eatin' all them samples.
Them ladies with the toaster ovens and little toothpicks?
They so old, they blind...ain't gonna know.
Come back five minutes later...
No need to re-disguise.

Ninety cream puffs for $2.99.
50 barbecued chicken wings---$5.99.
500 jumbo shrimp already pinked up n' cooked---$19.99...
Today only.
They's fools for anything ending in 99.
It a magic number....
Ya'll could serve them up a roasted doggy made in China
As long as the price is right....

My Sista? She otherwise known as the Costco Queen.
She say it her husband, Costco King, doin' all the buyin'
They have a party? Somebody's birthday? No.
It a Hallelujah Celebration for Costco.
They be like twins of Jesus...feedin' the 5000.
Platters of this...platters of that.
Chinese, Barbeque, Japanese, Mexican....every kind o food ya'll can think of.
Put the 24 hour buffet to shame....
Or out of business if they keep on.

"Ya'll don't like apple pie? I got pecan.
Ya'll don't like pecan pie? I got pumpkin.
Ya'll don't like pie?
Take a break.... have some chocolate cake.
.... ice cream with that...or whipped?"

She a power shopper too.... don't waste no time....shops in bulk.
Why buy a tiny little carton of whippin' cream for 89 cents
When you can have yourself a whole gallon for a dollar?
She organized.
She make sure her shoppin' time don't conflict with her eatin'
Got two freezers in the basement--
One for a cow and the other one for pizzas.

She don't get out of the car if she have to walk....
...Mo' than five spaces? No.
That too strenuous.... She just wait....
'Til the lady in the wheel chair van get up an' go.
Wheel chair parkin'? Now that be the business.
What d'ya'll have to do to get one of them stickers?

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