Wednesday 23 April 2008

Poles

The day has reached its weird peak before noon. The downstairs neighbour/nayboar is suddenly showing some talent for the recorder. "Talent" is a kind phrase. Amazing Grace wafting up through the floorboards. The polar opposite of our last conversation. Damn. I was going to buy a flute. Now, I'll just sound like a copy cat....especially if I can play "Highway to Hell" for her as she often plays it for me until my furniture and myself are vibrating.
A pole has arrived for my living room and another pole is coming later on today. Two poles in my living room. Am I a dancer?These kind gargle with vodka, bathe in absolut, and sleep with martini and olive face packs. Pin-stripped Pierogis. They're psychiatrists or psycho anna lists.

Oh , but they're not a couple. An uncouple. They just happen to be male and female. I will send an official "no frolicking" report home with the female for her boyfriend to keep. After...not before...That's a might. She drinks herbal tea, so obviously, she had standards. I mean "has". She turns down my early morning sausage for her own cold nutburger patty in a ziploc bag and a cold uncooked carrot that hasn't even been peeled. She must like the ridges.

Now, I must retrieve the second blow up bed from the shed. The other one can stay there in case of excess guests. Perhaps I should put some candles down there and call it "The Excess Suite" or "Sweet Access" Complete with gardening tools. Run a line up to the flat so they can buzz for their breakfast.

Breakfast Codes: bzz= one short buzz bzzzz= one long buzz
bzz = coffee
bzzzz = coffee with milk and sugar
bzz bzz = coffee and crumpet
Bzzzz Bzzzz = sweet milky coffee and chocolate covered crumpet.
Bzz Bzz Bzz Bzz Bzzzz = Do not disturb
Bed and Breakfast....Shed and Breakfast.
The facilities are expanding

No comments: