Tuesday, 15 February 2011


Still working on the invention that sucks the energy out of the child and pumps it back into the parent. This happens during sleep while the child is relatively immobile.

Also in need of a remote control. Press Return and toys magically return to the toy box. The deluxe version sorts lego, cars, puzzle pieces and action men into respective containers. Automatically deletes lost arms, limbs, and tyres. Odd sock finder is a bonus gift. Press Escape and your child magically disappears for a few hours so that you can have a cup of tea and get your brain back. Press Bookmark and the child automatically acts like the model child mentioned in so many manuals littering the bookshelf and spilling into the teddy bin. Press Undo and all the things your child has broken in the past week are instantly mended-the crack in the computer screen seals up, the necklace he cut up to make earrings comes back together, and letter with the important phone number is once again legible.  Press Enable and the child puts on his socks and shoes ready to walk out the door. Press Unhappy and your child will enjoy something other than a Happy Meal. Press Reverse...no I wouldn't press reverse. I wouldn't reverse a thing.

Another button, press Date and you are instantly transported to an evening out.
A perfectly matched date appears with flowers and a plan ready for a pleasant evening of conversation in a quiet restaurant.
Press Holiday and you are instantly transported to a sunny place by the sea with palm trees and topless sunbathers. You are having a picnic on the beach in the late afternoon and talking with strangers who are miles from home. Everyone is enjoying this moment of freedom watching the kids play with their buckets and spades, making instant friendships, and sharing icecreams. 

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