Monday 25 February 2008

Lila at the Exmouth Arms

Goodness. I can't remember already.
The chandelier.....that's it. Lila...
Got a new chandelier.. which nearly killed her in her sleep.
Can you imagine the headlines?
"Lovely Ex-Pat Polish Princess...killed in sleep by chandelier."
This is what she said....words to this effect...

My darlings, my lovelies and others who have yet to know me...
So long it has been since our last greeting.
Sorry...
I have been away at sea,
I know you with your busy lives
sitting at computers making numbers and words
Into rhymes for your
Big chubby bosses
who give you bonuses if you take a shorter lunch hour
Or stay so late at the office that your significant other
finally becomes as insignificant as you are to your own boss....
Yes....I am so sorry.....you do not have time to be
on a cruise ship....no...I lie..
several cruiseships---I was on.
I am not the sort of lady to take one cruise and then
Just go home slithering home with my ample suitcase
full of fine fineries
and bursting forth with bosom decorating necklaces
and hair enhancing head dresses
Mind the peacock feathers.
Do please put it in a separate box marked.....
Fragile....peacock feather head dresses only.
Oh the agility of my chauffeur...where would my
tiaras dance the tango without him?
I suppose I would get another one.
But then Arthur has been with me....
longer than my husband....
But then that is not a compliment
Nor is it a long space of time.
Where is my husband infact?
Maybe the chauffeur knows.
I was going to tell you about this new chandelier that presently arrived
and nearly killed me, but now...
I have a social engagement...
Some Argentinian Accordian players.....
I must see them at once.

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