Monday, 25 February 2008

Death By Chandelier

(Urbana--supacool..Pais e Filhos)

Well, as I was saying, but kept interrupting myself with asides...
as I have so many sides....
I most innocently thought
That the addition of this particular chandelier
to my bedroom chamber would somehow
Quite possibly bring some feng shui
into my life.
On the contrary...
I laid awake all night
Looking up at it and wondering if it was going to fall on my head.
The following day, I smelled something unnatural...
the scent of burning plastic.
And ofcourse....
Part of this light fixture had melted all over the bulb
which would have burst at any moment
due to the weight and heat.
It was improperly installed.
And who must I blame?
The people who wrote the manual on how to install it.
Yes. There was a pretty picture of the chandelier on the cover of the manual....
but no where did it say on the cover...."open here and read it."
I didn't notice that it opened.
The pretty picture was far too distracting.
I thought it was perhaps a flimsy excuse for a postcard
you were meant to send your best friend in order to invite them
to come and view this fabulous new chandelier....
Well. What was I to think?
And inside, after disaster had been averted...
Pictures...yes more pictures and not a single word on how to install.
Only pictures and numerical arrows.
If it would have fallen on my head in the night....
I would have got a lawyer and sued them
Especially if I would have died.

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