Tuesday, 29 January 2008

People in the next painting

1. Umberto knows of a lingerie shop where the dressing rooms are co-ed. 2. Rumble manages a beach in St. Tropez. He is on and off yachts and women all summer long. 3. Mr. Ying uses his alternative Chinese medical knowledge to pick up women in supermarkets. He starts by reading moons on fingernails. 4. Fred is not a dosser. He's a camper. He camps in Hyde Park. 5. Dave paints pictures of pumpkins. He likes this as they are believable any size. 6. Roger says that regret is more costly when it is something that didn't happen. 7. Louise had her teeth out as she is undergoing chemo. She is on a drip feed and ate half a weetabix last week. 8. Her six month old son Jack is named after Jack Daniels. 9. Annette is tired of donating her time to Diabetes UK as the director gets a six figure income, and she gets lunch.10. Elizabeth has moved again from Palermo to Venice. The hot weather and the hot debates were too much. 11. She knows too many people who have died mysteriously. 12. The hot dog men don't like to pay parking for their transit van...so they have a plan. 13. Cynthia wants her daughter to make a will. She thinks she's going to outlive her daughter.14. John has a habit of collecting and hoarding cardboard boxes. 15. Liza has a callous on her neck from playing the violin. She teaches at Juliard. 16. Zoe has 5000 calories worth of creamer in her coffee each week. 17. Mark gets half a cow from his sister every year as she has a farm in Nebraska. This requires an extra deep freeze. 18. Zoe does not eat sausages as they have too much sodium. Carrots are her only vegetable. 19. Ron and Sue go to the Burning Man every year to watch arty people like naked orange man stroll around. 20. Sue is taking a break from "reality" and has rented a farmhouse with a view of the horizon. 21. She went to Peru to think about what to do. 22. Mari's time is taken up with taking the cat to the vet and deciding which herbal tea would be best. 23. Doug Furze has a big fireplace and a big ashtray. He organised a salsa competition and used the proceeds to buy guitars for a school. 24. Cheap Trick live in a small town and played at my high school prom. 25. Agnes works at a gym. She works up a sweat on the computer. 26. Kay packed up her lifetime's belongings to move to Brighton , but the moving van never arrived. 27. Kevin has had a hole in his living room floor for the past two years from moving the stairs. He does a little dance around it rather than repair it. 28. King of Kink--no strings, but violins. 28. Tony makes Cannelloni for his favourite neighbours every Wednesday. 29. Allison danced her way through law school at the finest clubs in New York. 30. Arthur has two names, but neither one is real. 31. "I couldn't dance with you, so I had to satisfy myself with filming you in my mind."--Gabriel's best line. 32. Josephine runs a ski shop in a small village in The French Alps. He daughter misses"la plage" 33. Rumble's mother refers to him as the taller blonder version of Tom Cruise. 34. John studied psychiatry up to the last semester--then he met Molly and missed his exams. Now, as an electrician, he rewires houses instead of people.35. Mari's time is taken up with choosing which variety of herbal tea to drink and which alternative therapy she is in need of next. 36. Roofer Mike stole a piece of cheese in Key West when he was seventeen. He was dodging the Vietnam draft and had to move around. He is no longer allowed into Canada because of this offense. 37. Rufi never did his militairy service in Turkey, but he has dual citizenship...so he stays in Bulgaria. 38. Gertrude's Derridian way of speaking has limited her social circle. 39. Crispin lives above a funeral parlour. The formaldehyde keeps the rent down. 40. Zoe has half a cow in her basement. It lasts a year and is divided into hamburger and steaks. 41. Cynthia curses the rabbits while she is mowing the grass. Little does she know, the neighbours can hear her. 42. Cynthia's neighbour cut down part of her tree as the shade was falling onto the neighbour's lawn. 43. Sharon is bi-polar. That is why she cuts the lawn three times a week.44. Helen is a vicar's wife, but she's an atheist. 45. Pedra lives at the base of Mount Vesuvious. 46. Ben put his Y-fronts on backwards and didn't feel a thing.47. Isabelle wonders if it would be boring in Bora Bora.48. Curtis worked in a hotel in Nevis. She got the job while on holiday. She wishes she would never have left. 49. Elizabeth had a bookcase that opened onto a secret room. She lives behind very thick doors. 50. Lorenzo is a postman. That is all he knows. 51. Allison will move to Palawan once her baby is six months old. 52. Charmione is an opera student with a bright future despite the odds. 53. Freedom has two pet chickens and a check from Mary Boone for a quarter million dollars stuck on her bulletin board. 54. Walking around Lago Averno, Saverio stops by the apple orchard.55. Riccardo is a DJ in Aosta. He has written a book called "The Sex Appeal of Error." 56. Raphi lives in a trance state and commutes four hours a day.

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