Social Suicide

What a productive day. We cycled up to Chapel St Market to get veg and fish for the party tomorrow that is going to be great and if not...they will go home with a pill which is an encapsulated animal that expands in water. Ben wanted to keep them for himself..he loves them..but I think mum got them from the dollar store. She has to get more.
Cheeseman shook my hand and said leave it up to fate. Sandwich from him and then to Ben's favourtie papa palace. Shrek featured this week. More plastic made in china to trip over in the living room. Just what we need. Dropped Ben at Tony Cannelloni's to do another search.
A triumph after several shops to find the screwdriver and a little pack of cards...50 things to do at the airport....the pg version. Got sucked into several shops myself for some purchases. And some high heel flip flops that rule.
Some croquet at Social Suicide...they are reshaping and closing down. It got me thinking about Michael Carmichael and so told the story of his suicide which turned into an impromptu comedy. As he told me over dinner one day in Seoul at the five star Lotte Goldstar Hotel...."This is a much better way to spend money. I was here yesterday trying to hang myself, but the ceiling was too low." It went in one ear and out the other as He was much too cool to do that...then again he was on the point of clammy...a six foot three replica of superman and lunch partner for three years. You'd think I would have been detecting something earlier. And our last drink...how as opposed to being a professor in Korea with four months paid holiday a year and free housing..actually a little job selling rotating ducks would be better. Specifically. He wanted to get a heavy metal duck donut machine and sell them for a dollar at Niagara Falls. I'm not sure if that was his own invention. I think it was a ritual as a child. But his parents had moved back to the country with the Saab as his girlfriend pressed him into marriage...that was a bad choice for him. He said he felt like he was on a ferris wheel that he couldn't get off of. Considering how nearly perfect he was...making a choice that was not his but was forced on him finally did him in and so he denoum waaaed on my Birthday a few months later with a low key overdose of pills in a one star b and b just down the road. We were all gathering for my birthday at Riski's red kitchen but the dancer-lawyer...she came running towards me ...Alison...crying and I knew right away from a distance of many yards. And the preacher at his funeral was angry at him . He had been counseling him. I knew nothing about it. That is my first great experience of suicide. It hit me hard. And after that, I didn't want to be in Korea anymore. I made a cup of tea for his parents who he had not seen for a few years. But I forgot to put the teabag in. So we sat drinking hot water with sugar and they were glad to hear that he had friends. As I told them this tonight at the Social Suicide Clothing Shop, one person asked ...isn't this irreverent, but thinking of MIchael, he would be happy and pleased. I even told it with a smile on my face and high heeled flip flops on my feet...He'd be happy. March 17 1999. Eleven years ago now. He must have been 30...32. That was what we were doing. Our bubble...our ex-pat cocktail crew. And Tig has loaned me his croquet set. Scott from Sheppey...nearly cut his hair. And Dave...a good night. And some t-shirt ideas to think about..l..and one....Sex drugs and rock and roll....comment...beer, masturbation and myspace....that quip came out as I wore my t-shirt one day...the new version. ah phone. mum.